Chapter 18

Ann, our hospice nurse, took care of us throughout the day. She placed a heart on our door letting the staff of the hospital and others know that we had lost our baby. That way there were no inappropriate visits from the photographer to take newborn photos, or others like this. Ann prepared a special memory box of baby Curtis. She got his hand and feet prints and collected some of his hair. She even gave us the shampoo container that she used to wash his hair. She recorded his measurements and even filled out a crib card with his information. He was so real and here was our evidence.
Ann arranged to have us discharged from the hospital as soon as policy allowed. After twelve hours was up, we could go home. I was so glad that I did not have to stay. I wanted to get home to my kids. At about 3:30 PM, we gathered our things and prepared to leave without our newborn. I was blessed that I did not see or hear any babies that day. Ann walked out with us. Luckily, we did not have to leave at the same time as any other mom was leaving with her newborn. That would have just added salt to an open wound.
We had to make a stop at the drug store to get my pain medicine and so we waited there for them to fill the prescription. It was very surreal. Life was going on around us, but in my heart, I felt so dead.